- Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Blogstyles of the Famous: Why are You Really Here?

Many of us bloggers make the biggest mistake in blogging: we compare ourselves to each other. Fine. We'll learn from the bigger bloggers. Blogstyles of the Famous is where we delve into some of the truths of famous bloggers to find ourselves.

I think most of the successful bloggers I know started blogging for shits and giggles (therapy). Not one of them seemed mentally prepared for the fame because they weren't really seeking it or striving for it. It just wasn't a goal, nor was it really expected on their part. Most were moms lost in the world of motherhood aching to find themselves again. Most had children who outgrew the needy "wipe my butt" phase and had the extra time.

Some of them got internet famous. Their pages grew to over 100K followers. Their blog views spiked. They got book offers, job offers, and sponsorship opportunities. Some were interviewed by some major television networks.

Now here's the turning point. In the cycle of a famous blog, and not all famous bloggers are here yet, but Abraham Maslow starts to take over. Once you satisfied the basic needs of income and worship, you grow up. You realize there's more important things in this world. You already conquered fame, what's next? How do I use this fame to impact the world better? We all want to change the world don't we? So at this point, most bloggers humble themselves and do the Jesus thing.

It usually starts off as a charity fundraiser, and when they realize how much money they raised, they become addicted. "What else can I do?"

At some point in blogging, they actually accomplish their original goal: they find themselves.

This kind of celebrity phenomenon isn't exclusive only for blogging. Many musicians and actors find in their careers after fame, what's left? And they realize what we are able to realize without the fame. There is nothing left. Fame has no substance. But you can use it with your talents to give back, and that has substance.

It's in that desire to give back, and the act of doing so, do we truly find a purpose.

Some bloggers lost themselves in motherhood and laundry, or some other daily grind, and thanks to blogging, they found themselves again. And it's in this phase you see them stop blogging as often because their calling was not in blogging. It was something else. For some, it was what they were doing before motherhood. The blog just helped them find that path.

We often focus on the wrong things. We become overly concerned with letting our numbers define our worth. We count page views, social media followers, click throughs, book purchases, and email lists, and if our numbers are low, we feel like a failure. We turn to the business side reading how-to's and create plans to increase those numbers that entail things like improving blog design, improving the writing, writing more lists and making catchier titles, link dropping, link baiting, advertising... Barf. I'm personally sick of this shit myself.

I don't think blogging is a calling. It's something we do to find our calling, or something we do alongside it. It's something we do for ourselves. In writing and connecting with other writers, we find who we really are like in high school (and it IS just like high school... there are those bloggers who are all, "You can't sit with us!").

So ask yourself right now, "Why did I start blogging? What was I trying to achieve?" And really ask yourself. Keep digging. If your answer is, "To grow a platform to sell something," then ask yourself, "Why did I want that?" Or maybe your answer is, "I needed the therapy. A place to vent my feelings." Is that really all you wanted?

As you blog, you learn more about who you are and what you want. And at some point, you'll find something in your own writing that means something to you. It's in those words do you eventually find a cause worth fighting for and a purpose worth having.

I think for a lot of us, we just want to find something greater than where we are, and we don't know what that is.

Instead of growing our blogs, I think we can all get the most out of blogging if we put the bulk of our efforts on growing ourselves. With every post, you bud. And when you bloom, the internet will be watching, but by then, it won't matter to you as much.

Remember. Your blog doesn't define you. You define your blog.